You had me at hello..

Newsflash: Tom Cruise is speaking at Yahoo! tomorrow! That's right, Mr. Scientology is going to be hanging out in URL's, live and in-person.

Let's all hope that he shares a Yodel with us and that it looks a bit like this:

So, some people are expecting it to be a train wreck. Others are annoyed that Yahoo!'s paying someone [inviting someone] who seems kind of wacky/preachy/crazy to speak. Me? I expect that it'll be rather tame, rather scripted and perhaps surprisingly fun. The guy's an actor right? He gets paid the big bucks to entertain and although recently, he's been entertaining us with antics that aren't on the big screen, I'm pretty sure that a corporate speaking gig is a pretty routine event for him.

Especially since all of our questions have to be pre-submitted... Yup, that's right, us employees get to ask questions. BUT, we have to submit them ahead of time. It makes total sense, if I was organizing this, I'd set it up this way as well, in order to avoid people like me :)

But, just once, I'd love it if an event like this occurred and it was totally unscripted and off-the-cuff. Since I can't have that, I've decided that I'd at least like to put together some questions that I wish we could ask Maverick tomorrow.
(Of course, remember, these are just jokes and just my opinions, affiliated in no way with Yahoo! I do, however, blame/thank a few of my friends for inspiration..)

1. “Mr. Cruise, will you please stop being glib?”    
2. “Wow, you’re short in person. That’s all I had to say."
3. “Seriously dude, spill the beans. What’s it like to nail Katie Holmes?”
4. “Umm yeah, same question, except for Nicole Kidman..”    
5. “You're everyone's problem. That's because everytime you go [on] the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.”
6. “You still owe me a new couch Tom. You KNOW how I hate shoes on my couch!”  - e-mail from O. Winfrey
7. “Can you show us your e-meter?”
8. “So, who makes more money, you or the head of your church?”
9. “Were you upset that you didn’t get to star in Battlefield Earth?”
10. “Let’s be honest here. You’re nuts. Certifiable. What I’m trying to say really is, in your own words, ‘Help me help you!’”   
    

What would you ask if you had the chance?

Unedited, funny or serious, comment and I'll throw some of the good ones up into the list.

**Quick Update** As was mentioned in a comment, there was no payment for Tom Cruise's appearance - Terry mentioned it in his introductions. I'll update later with an actual post about the event, which was very interesting and fun.

Tags: tom cruise, yahoo! influential speakers program, scientology

Comments

[anonymous]

Tom and Terry are good friends. I am all but certain from friends who work at Yahoo that Tom was not paid for this appearance.

[First time caller]

It was a very long wait before the appearance. Here are some questions that occured to me in the meantime, ranging from the mean-spirited to the merely petty. Couldn't figure out a way to work in Chef and South Park.

Tom, this is your mother, did you remember to take your medication?

You have an outstanding fashion sense, which do you prefer, Gap Kids or OshKosh B'Gosh?

Chuck Norris, great actor or greatest actor ever?

I really loved seeing the new footage from your upcoming movie MI3 but jeez, what the hell do you have against cars?

Which of these anagram-based titles do you feel best defines you?

Tom Cruise, Costumier

Tom Cruise, So I'm Cuter

Tom Cruise, I.e. Scrotum

Given the uncertain and tumultuous state of the world, could you comment on what you feel to be an appropriate balance between the responsibilities of the actor qua entertainer and the important yet inchoate responsibilities a celebrity has in making significant contributions to the social and cultural dialog ............. just kidding, How do you keep your teeth so white?

If woo were a twee, what kind of twee would woo be?

Hello Mr. Cruise, please look at this locket. Yes, yes, it's very shiny. Keep your eye on it as it swings back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Focus all of your attention on it and relax. Very good. You are getting sleepy, verrrrry sleeeeeepy, you are now in a state of total relaxation. Can you hear me? Good. I will ask you are series of simple questions and then you will wake up feeling completely refreshed. First question, what is Nicole Kidman's home phone number?

In addition to being an actor, director, pilot and race car driver, you are of course a recognized expert on medical issues ranging from pediatric medicine to postpartum depression. My question is, can you discuss both the implications and design of the recent JAMA published study on Paclitaxel-eluting stents versus vascular brachytherapy for in-stent restenosis within bare-metal stents? You have 20 minutes.

Who do you look up to in Hollywood? No that's not what I meant, I would never try to belittle ... sorry, poor choice of words. I mean, given your stature, oh no I did it again, oh nevermind.

Guys, being guys, are always wondering if the curtains match the drapes. I think the ladies might want to know how the size of camshaft relates to that of the chassis?

[jammarlibre]

Good morning
Thanks for your site.